Hand in Hand.



Isn't it crazy that just when you think you have it all figured it out, something gets in the way? Well, for me, that was the case with, you know, the big C (Coronavirus.) It's hard to believe that this is my 7th week of being in total quarantine. I remember the first day of quarantine thinking to myself, "how the f*ck am I going to get through this?" But, here I am in the 7th week, and I feel more at peace with myself than I have in a very long time. Before the Big C entered all of our lives, my life and my daily schedule was very high paced. I didn't have much downtime during the week, and I was always thinking about what I had to do next. Whether it was work, or exercise, chores..you get the picture. Even on the weekends, there were times where I couldn't find myself relaxing or being able to take it easy. It's weird really when you go from having so much to do in a day to having nothing to do. It was a very big "wooahhhh" moment for me when we got quarantined. My schedule that was once so full was now empty. What made it worse for me was that no one knew or could tell me how long this situation would last. I remember the first week of quarantine I couldn't sleep well; my anxiety was through the roof. I felt like I couldn't sit still, but I had to, I had no choice. Where I am right now in quarantine, we couldn't even walk the dog in the neighborhood until this past Monday. So, I told myself that I just need to accept this whole situation and think positive. Honestly, a part of me couldn't be more thankful for quarantine. I had to face my feelings with grief that I had been hiding for so long. Once I allowed myself to feel my feelings, to feel grief, and all that it brings, I somehow started to open up. It's weird, but by expressing my emotions out loud and bringing them to the surface, I began to feel happier. By allowing myself to actually feel grief I started to become more joyful. I didn't feel like something was holding me down. I've connected with more people since social distancing than I ever have before. Before the quarantine, it would have been impossible to give an hour or even much less two hours to talk to family and friends on the phone and have the chance to catch up with them. I've reached out to some of my family members that I haven't spoken to in years. Some that I haven't even spoken to since my mom's funeral, which was almost four years ago. I think what we should all take from this social distancing and quarantine is to decide what is important to us. To tell you the truth, I don't want to go back to my old ways of not making enough time for myself (mentally). I don't want to lose touch again with my family and this community, Shoulder to Lean on, has grown so much. I'm so thankful for everyone that I have met so far. There are so many people that I have never met in person that have been able to touch my life. So many have opened up to me from across the globes sharing their stories of their loved ones. I guess the lesson for myself and for everyone is to consider is to take a look at our lives, how they have changed sine the big C and before heading back to normality/the real world, we should all ask ourselves, "what will we take from this experience?"

Disclaimer

The intent of this blog is not to give advice or tell you what you should or shouldn't do. Shoulder to Lean ons' goal and hope is to offer friendship through sharing personal experiences.
These conversations are shared to inspire you on your journey of grief. Shoulder to Lean on assumes no responsibility for your actions of you choose to follow any suggestions written on here.
The information provided in this blog, or through links to other sites, is not a substitute for medical or professional care and you should not use the information in pace of a visit, call consultation or the advice of your physician or other healthcare provider.