Do you ever feel like you are in the middle of a Charlie Brown episode in the scene where the teacher is speaking but whatever she says sounds like, well, nothing? (If you aren’t familiar with Charlie Brown or his teacher here’s a video to an example)
Throughout most of my days that’s how I feel. You know, grief is a very odd emotion. Grief is more than just your feelings, it will show up in how you think. One second you might feel “ok” and the next grief is back knocking at your door. The first couple of weeks after my mom’s passing my brain was in a constant fog. Full on zombie mode. Physically I was here, but my mind was somewhere else. And, don’t get me wrong, to this day it still happens from time to time.
Last Thursday marked one month since my mom’s passing. Through it all I have continued to be on an emotional roller coaster. My daily emotions consist of having anger, acceptance, bargaining, denial, etc. Despite your personal situation you are also probably feeling a similar pattern of grief. Over time, the ever slowly growing acceptance of the loved one no longer being here happens—although the acceptance isn’t necessarily a happy one.
Since my mom’s passing, grief has and continues to be a part of my life. But this is natural and it’s part of what makes us human. It takes courage to grieve and to honor the pain we carry. What builds us after the passing of a loved one is how we channel that grief and how we make use of it.
How do you handle grief? Is there a coping mechanism that works best for you? Finding an outlet after a loved one has passed is a productive way to shift your focus and energy on transitioning to a new life without your loved one.
But, remember to take your time when grieving. Shift only when you are ready and comfortable. You are your own person, and your relationship with your loved one who passed is unique. There is no “one-size-fits-all” grief. Some might find that spending time alone serves them best, while others may find that spending time with friends is more beneficial. For instance, i’ve always been a people person (hence my psychology major). For this reason I find the best outlet to be with the ones I love. My boyfriend, my friends, and this blog make part of that outlet. In contrast, others might find that spending time alone, reading a book, going for a walk, etc. channels their inner peace more effectively.
This week I’m traveling to Europe for my mom’s funeral and to celebrate her life. I will maintain my focus on the main subject of grief, and my upcoming post will be about my mom’s funeral. In the future I will continue to post many different examples of coping mechanisms in the hopes that one of them will work for you. As mentioned above, the process of grief isn’t a process that lasts for weeks, it can last months or even years. But know that that, my friends, is ok!